Sometimes Out Of Death Comes Life: Happy Birthday Megan's Minute!

Sometimes out of death comes life. 

A month before I started Megan's Minute, a good friend of mine, I'll call him CR, had a stroke and died.  He was 59 years old.

He was a brilliant, funny, often infuriating man who lived and breathed, photography, film and literature.  He was proudly anti-social, unapologetically liberal and would have been as astounded as anyone to see that a black man was now President of the United States.

CR was also an incredible writer, but when he died, his novel was unpublished and his screenplays unmade.  Only those of us who knew him well knew what a wonderfully entertaining and imaginative writer he was.

The last time I saw CR was months before he died.  My last contact with him was exchanged emails the Christmas before he died saying how we had to get together soon.

After hearing of his death, I was devastated that the "get together" would never happen.  And mixed in with the grief of his loss was the thought that no one else would ever read his work.

Why am I telling you this?

It's simple.  I've always believed myself to be a writer.  I've written stories, screenplays, and portions of novels, but never had the courage or the commitment to jump in feet first and find out if I had what it took to make a living as a writer.

After CR died, I discovered I desperately needed for someone to read my work.  Even if it was only five people whose names I never knew.

I'd already been considering blogging thanks to my friend Island Girl.  And after CR died, that was the push I needed to get me past the fear of my work not being good enough, or perfect enough, or whatever.

I chose Valentine's Day 2007 for my first post because it was a Valentine to myself.  A commitment to myself, my work and what I hoped would be a new future.

So at 11:55PM--it took me until the end of the day to summon my courage--I clicked "post" and  my first Megan's Minute post went live.

SNL's Amy Poehler Is One Of The "Smart Girls at the Party" (Video)

Comedian Amy Poehler is one busy lady these days.  She just gave birth to a baby boy, is developing a sitcom for NBC to debut this spring, is still raking in kudos for her impressions of Hillary Clinton on her former show, "Saturday Night Live," and now she's working on becoming an internet star.  Amy and two of her friends, Meredith Walker and Amy Miles, have teamed up to produce eight webisodes called "Smart Girls at the Party."

"Smart Girls" consists of seven minute interviews with girls who are according to Poehler, "changing the world, by being themselves."  The video clips are part of the ON Networks' stable of shows and focuses on girls with a variety of interests like writing, gardening, yoga and music.

There's Cameron, the 10 year old writer who pens mysteries and paranormal stories.   Among other things she talks about what she does to manage writer's block.  Sisters Lea and Sarafina like to talk at the same time and both like the color purple. 

My personal favorite of the three posted so far is Ruby, the skateboarding feminist.  She's already written a book and has very definite ideas about boys and girls.  Here's her video:

10 Cool Things I Did Over Thanksgiving Weekend

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend and just to keep you up to date, here are ten cool things I did:

1. Catered Thanksgiving Dinner:  It's become a tradition in my house that Thanksgiving dinner is catered.  I clean the house, I buy the wine, I make cornbread, stir-fry cabbage and then I pick up the food.  It's always hot and beautifully packed, right down to the carved turkey, and I have a ball enjoying my company instead of sweating over the shopping and the cooking.  It costs less than if I did it myself and everyone goes home happy.
2. Felt No Guilt About Catering Thanksgiving Dinner:  I spoke to a woman the day after Thanksgiving who said she would feel guilty if she didn't cook dinner.  I chuckled and said, "There is no such thing as guilt when I can have a good time."
3. Enjoyed Thanksgiving Dinner:  The best way I've learned to cope with my nutty family?   Realize that as crazy as they can be, at least they're mine. 
4. Slept, slept, and slept some more:  I woke up Friday at 10AM, put the dishes in the dishwasher, sat with a cup of coffee for two hours and then took a three hour nap.  Woke up just in time to heat up leftovers for company.  This morning slept to 1PM.  Ahhhhh.
5. Had Leftovers with Cara and Lucy: Cara, Lucy and I had a girl's night of dinner, games and Charlie Brown TV specials.  We played Sorry, Jr. Scrabble and Mancala and five year old Cara won all three.  I'd never played Mancala before and once I figured out the strategy it was quite addictive.  Perfect for an evening in front of the fireplace.  When Milos and his Dad arrived, we made paper airplanes---Lucy had to remind me how to make them---and flew them around my livingroom.
6. Hung Out with Drag Queens:  For a friend's birthday a group of us went to the cabaret/dinner drag queen club in New York called Lucky Chengs.  It was beyond a hoot and a half watching the luscious ladies (and yes, that's a man in the picture above) perform their risque show while we chowed down on Asian pu pu platters.  The costumes were straight out of a Vegas showgirl's closet, some of the commentary by Ms. F**kin' Bitch would make a standup comic blush, and the crowd was packed with birthday girls, bachelorettes and brides-to-be.  Alex competed in the amateur lap dance competition---he was the lap dancer for a seated woman---and since he dances kinda like Kermit the Frog, that was a sight to see.  As you'll notice I haven't published the pictures here because I now have him under my total control.....ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Haaaaaa.....!
7. Hung Out with Apes:  Watched some of Fox Movie Channel's "Planet of the Apes" weekend marathon.  The original movie may not look like much to modern audiences, but like "Star Wars" it was a groundbreaking film.  And the last scene is still one of the best movie payoffs ever.
8. Thought About Things To Be Thankful For:  With all the horrible things happening in the world, like the terrorist attacks in Mumbai, I took time to remember that no matter how much I might complain, I really have very little to complain about.
9. Wished For Better Times To Come:  Watched the media coverage of the attacks in Mumbai and thought about journalistic standards and what is right and wrong to broadcast during such a tense situation.  I decided to be as optimistic as I can in spite of all the terrible news.
10. Volunteered For A Good Cause:  I began volunteering once a week at my local Petco, taking care of the cats up for adoption.  There were only two cats this week, Honey and Louie, and Louie has a bit of a temper, but I felt very good about making a small contribution to a good cause.

I hope you guys enjoyed your turkey---or your to-furkey---something Mrs. Kim would serve to all you vegetarians---and that your weekend was healthy, happy and drama-free.

Kids, Death, and Honesty: From One Generation To Another

As someone who grew up never being encouraged to talk about anything unpleasant or uncomfortable, I have to take note of a conversation I had with Milos and Cara a few weeks ago, after Daisy died.

Especially in comparison to the conversation, or lack thereof I had with my mother after Daisy died.

It was a bright Sunday afternoon when I took Milos and Cara to the Cradle of Aviation Museum, and in spite of the "I'm bored's" from Cara when Milos got to pick which exhibit we would see and the "Can we go now's" from Milos when Cara got to pick which exhibit we would see, we all had a good time and I got a wonderful dose Kiddie Frolics without the hard work of parenting.

When we came home, I decided to show them the nasturtiums that had sprouted in my backyard from the seeds they planted in the spring.  When we got past the gate, Milos said, "Look out for poop..." and then he stopped, remembered and said, "Oh...."

I said, "Yeah, no more poop to worry about."

He paused for a minute, gauging my reaction and then said, "Do you still miss Daisy?  Are you lonely without her?" 

"Yes, I still miss her a lot," I said.  "And it is lonely without her."

I Voted! Have You?

Can you guess who I voted for?

With one voting machine, it took 30 minutes this morning to cast it, but it was worth the wait.

Most of my neighbors were there including my friend Island Girl and her Mom, and Lucy and her husband and the kids.

In fact Milos and Cara came in the voting booth with me because their parents were two places behind me in line, and they needed to get to their school bus.

I got to explain to them how to cast a vote, who I voted for and why it was so important.

Even now at my day job, I'm ridiculously giddy about it all.

Democracy rules!

10 Rules To Put Family TV Watching In Its Place

Shannon, over at BlogHer has a post today, "Families Get Serious About Limiting TV."  It got me thinking about my own rules about TV.  Now you guys know I love my TV, after all I write about TV.   But I'm a big believer in limiting TV, especially where kids are concerned.

So here are my 10 rules to put family TV watching in its place.

1. No TV in the bedroom.  The bedroom should be a TV-free zone.  It's for sleeping and canoodling with significant others.  When I sleep, I need quiet and no hazy moving lights from the glow of a TV.
2. No TV in a kid's bedroom.  Ever.  As Shannon said in a comment on her post:  "Won't even discuss it!  We watch TV in our family, but we do it as a family event in a central location, where we can still interact.  If they had TVs in their room, I'm afraid we'd never see them again!
   
3. No TV in the living room.  Now I know this all depends on the amount of space you have where you live, but if you are lucky enough to have a den and a livingroom, the rule is no TV in the living room.  The living room is for visiting, talking and...living.
4. No watching TV during dinner or while the family is having a meal.  Ever.  That also goes for cellphones, video games, BlackBerries, Sidekicks and any other kind of electronic devices, toys or other distractions.  I'm an absolute pitbull with lipstick about this.  It's rude, obnoxious and totally ill-mannered. 
5. This sounds like a no-brainer but no TV before homework.
6. Also no TV during homework.
7. For kids, TV watching should be limited to a maximum of two hours a day unless it's something special like the Olympics.
8. Those two hours of watching should be shows the parents have watched themselves and approved of. 
9. No TV during play dates.  A play date is for visiting and playing, not plopping in front of a TV for hours.
10. Finally, try a weekend, or if you're more ambitious, a week of no TV at all.

How do you keep family TV watching in its place at your house?

A Cheer For Fatherhood: Video PSA

Last week Whoopi Goldberg introduced the following PSA on "The View."  It's from the Ad Council and the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse.  Not only did it have me rolling on the floor laughing, but it touched my heart, because every little girl should have a father like the one in this video.

Megan Welcomes A New Baby To The Family

My good friends Legal Eagle and The Architect have a new baby!  Woo hoo!

I'm so happy for them I could just bust!

Baby Legal Eagle was born yesterday and weighed in at 8lbs 3 ounces, and measured 22 inches long.  She's got a full head of beautiful dark hair, her Daddy's well shaped ears and her Mommy's long, lovely fingers.  When I made a brief visit to the hospital yesterday, the new parents were priming the baby for her future tennis career by making her watch NBC's coverage of the French Open.

And I've gotta say, Legal Eagle looked remarkably fresh and perky considering she hadn't slept in two days and had just given birth.

Congratulations guys!

TV, Kids, Sexism and Me

Recently I discovered I'm a closet sexist, and this is the story of how it happened.

As many of you may know, I'm a SINK:  Single Income, No Kids.  I am however lucky enough to have surrogate kids.  Their names are Cara and Milos.  He's seven and she's just about to turn five.  They're the kids of good friends of mine and I've know them since before they were born.

I love them within an inch of their lives and I'm ready to throw down with anyone who dares to think their kids are more adorable.

Since I'm in the media, I've taken on the responsibility to teach them about the media, but of course only on the most simplistic level.  I talk to them about television, movies and commercials, and how sometimes, what you see isn't what you think it is.

So while they still watch "Dora The Explorer" and "Sponge Bob" their parents have no problem with me introducing them to age appropriate TV classics like "The Flintstones."  Although the male/female stereotyping is way behind the times, it's well written and funny, and I make sure to point out how sometimes Moms like Wilma work instead of stay at home and sometimes Dads like Fred stay at home instead of work.  Most of the time, all they care about is hearing Dino barking in that funny, crazy way he has. 

A couple of years ago, when his parents said he was old enough, I introduced Milos to the movie "Star Wars."  I have the original trilogy and we watched it on DVD with his Mom who'd somehow never seen it.  When Cara was old enough, she too liked "Star Wars" and every so often would want to see it.

Hooray For Dads!

This whole post is going to sound like I've turned into a card carrying member of the "Family Values Republican Brigade," but I don't care, I'm writing it anyway.  Here I go.

I read this article yesterday about working Dads seeking more family time.  It was in USA Today and written by Stephanie Armour. It said, among other things:

"For generations, "Fathers have defined success as big cars, big salaries, big homes. But dads now define success as a good relationship with their children and spouse," says Armin Brott of Fathers At Work, an Oakland-based business that specializes in helping men find a balance between work and family."

Now the article primarily focuses on tensions in the workplace over the increase in requests by Dads for more family time, but what I took away from the article was more fathers are finally getting it.

What Mr. Brott says in the quote above bears repeating.  For generations "fathers have defined success as big cars, big salaries, big homes.  But dads now define success as a good relationship with their children and spouse." 

That statement gave me such a warm and fuzzy feeling, I could barely contain myself.  Dads are finally really getting it.  Kids don't want more money.  They desperately want more time.  Time to do things as a family, time to experience a relationship with both parents and time to feel supported and loved.

Now we know there are a whole lot of crappy Dads out there.  We hear about them all the time.  The deadbeat Dads, the abusive Dads, the cheating Dads, the absent Dads, the workaholic Dads.  Cliff Huxtable, they ain't. 

Working and non-working Moms still bear too much of the work of family life.  In frustration, that's why I think many a single woman out there has said, the heck with that crap.  I'll just head over to the local sperm bank and presto, I got a kid.  I don't criticize women who make that choice, but I think because the choice is available, we sometimes follow that to the mistaken conclusion that Dads aren't that necessary.

See what I mean about the "Family Values Republican Brigade?"  Just send my membership card to my home address.  Yikes! 

But honestly, I think you can be the most devout feminist or Democrat, and understand we as a society need to think twice about minimizing the need for two parents in a child's life.

Yes, there are many, many crappy Dads out there---I pretty much grew up without my crappy Dad---but if there's a change in the air, a small tectonic shift in family dynamics for the better, that's something to celebrate. 

As the article pointed out, many Dads who want more parental leave or time for family commitments are being obstructed by their bosses.

"For example, the EEOC says, some employers have wrongly denied male employees' requests for leave for child care purposes while granting similar requests from female employees. Under the federal Family and Medical Leave Act, fathers are allowed to take unpaid leave for the birth, adoption or medical illness of a child. They are allowed up to 12 weeks of leave in a year, although some states grant additional rights for dads."

More corporations can and should help by encouraging flex time and parental leave for working Dads and Moms.  It's still too much of an exception than a rule.

But the negative aspects of this issue are for another day.  Today, I wanted to say a big "Hooray" for all the Dads out there who make every sacrifice and effort to be the best Dads they can possibly be.

Am I The Only One Who...?

Am I the only one who...

Thinks the movie "Ratatouille" is a waste of ten bucks?  First of all I've got a problem with rats animated or otherwise, and even more so when those animated rats are handling food in a restaurant.  I saw it with Lucy and the Vacaby kids, Milos and Cara so in that respect it wasn't a waste 'cause I got to spend time with them, but as a movie "Rata-phooey" is too long, not very funny and though the Pixar animation is fabulous as always, ultimately boring.

And before you say, oh it's because you're an adult and the movie is for children, I gotta tell you, half way through the movie, four year old Cara turned to me and said, "This is boring.  I don't like it." Well that's all I needed. "I'm right with you girlfriend," I thought as I grabbed her little hand and we bolted outta there faster than you could say, "C'est la vie."   We took a tour of the local CVS, hung out at the bagel store and by the time we came back, the rat movie was over.

Milos who's six loved it, but Lucy was underwhelmed.

I mentioned to a couple of co-workers that I didn't like the movie and you would have thought I suggested puppies and kittens be drowned everday at dawn.  Every adult within earshot proclaimed their adoration of the animated rats and how they thought the movie was sweet, cute and heartwarming.  There's no accounting for taste.

So add "Ratatouille" to the "Everyone But Megan Loved This" list.  Other items on that list?  The Broadway musicals "Les Miserables" and "Wicked," the television shows "Friends" and "ER," and the movies "Mary Poppins" and "ET."  That list has plenty of other items on it, but I'll save those for another fascinating post.