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May 24, 2009

"Desperate Housewives" Finale: Crazy Dave Runs Amok (Major Spoilers)

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Crazy dave Crazy Dave (Neil McDonough) finally got his chance to avenge the death of his wife and daughter in last week's "Desperate Housewives" finale.

But before that happened all kinds of other developments were cooking in the stylish ovens of Wisteria Lane.

Carlos and Gabby took in his teen relative Anna, who turned out to be a master manipulator when it comes to the "xy" chromosome crowd. 

When Gabby confronts the chippy about her wayward ways and the negative impact they're having on her own daughters, the chippy trembles her upper lip at Carlos and Gabby's thwarted.

Tom makes the grade after passing his college entrance exam but that joy is short lived.

Lynette, afraid her cancer is back, goes to the doctor.  Turns out there's no cancer but she is pregnant with twins.   Makes her think cancer might have been the lesser evil.

Karl has Orson roughed up to get him to leave Bree and her money.   Because of Bree the tactic doesn't work. Karl isn't pleased but that doesn't stop him from making the moves on Bree.  He challenges her to loosen up before planting a big wet one on her.  That "shady lawyer vibe" is obviously a turn on 'cause Bree comes back for more. 

And even I have to say Karl is looking mighty hot these days.

McCluskey and sister Roberta break into poor, dead Edie's house to get clues.  They're caught by the cops and hear the news first hand that Dave's cover is blown.  But it's too late, he's already driving Susan and little MJ to the country where he's gonna bump them off.

A little sidebar, there are rumors of a "Desperate Housewives" spinoff starring Kathryn Joosten and Lily Tomlin.  What a great idea!  Joosten should have had a show ages ago and if she weren't nearly 70 probably would have.  She and Tomlin have been a hoot and a half as Karen and Roberta and I'd love to see them with their own series.  Stay tuned.

But back to Crazy Dave.  So, Mike and Kat are at the airport, ready to elope to Vegas.  Then Mike watches a taped confession Dave left behind and which inadvertently got into Mike's luggage.  Mike understandably freaks, stranding a clueless Kat at the airport while he rushes off to save Susan and MJ.

Mike warns Susan with a cellphone call and though she tries to stall so Mike can catch up, it doesn't work.  Crazy Dave ties up Susan at the same intersection where his wife and daughter were killed.  He plans for Mike's car to ram his while MJ's strapped in the back and Susan watches.

Diabolical and crazy.

At the last minute, Susan's pleas to Dave to consider what his daughter would think of what he was doing cause him to let MJ out of the car before Mike slams into him.

Mike gets banged up but is well enough to hop out and embrace MJ and Susan and then plant a big wet one on her.

Dave is still alive but ends up in a loony bin where he belongs.  What do you want to bet we haven't seen the last of him?

The last scene takes place two weeks months later and is a church wedding.  The pews are filled with Wisteria Lane residents and Mike is at the alter with a bride in a veiled white dress.  As the minister pronounces them man and wife, Mike kisses the bride and we go to black.

Who's the bride!? 

Is it Susan?  Is it Kat?  Is it someone he met within those two months?

My guess?  It's, drumroll please........Susan!  

Why, you ask?  Because he only decided to marry Kat after Susan said she was marrying the Canadian who needed to stay in the country.

Mark my words, Susan and Mike, together again.

Photo copyright and courtesy ABC



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