Megan's 25 Random Things

Remember a few weeks ago when I said how much I hated memes? And especially that dumb Facebook "25 Random Things" meme? Well I lied.

I love memes.  In fact they're my secret obsession.  But that's not all.  Many of the things you think you know about Megan are not quite true.  In fact you may be shocked by the following list.

So, drumroll please...without further ado are Megan's 25 Random Things about herself:

1. My name ain't Megan.  If you've read my "About" page you already know that, but I don't use a pseudonym to protect my privacy.  It's because a blog called Octavia's Minute would sound kinda strange.
2. I'm not black.  I just said that to be different.
3. I hate blogging.  It's just that my real profession in the sex trade doesn't maintain my very lavish lifestyle, so I have to supplement.
4. The same goes for writing for BlogHer.  You think I like it, don't you?  Not even.  And those women over there, what a bunch of catty bitches!
5. The "Damages" finale is tonight and you'd expect that I'd be watching, wouldn't you?  Well no.  I don't watch "Damages."  Those recaps some of y'all are so fond of?  My 10 year old niece Nancy writes 'em. 
6. The same goes for those "Desperate Housewives" snap recaps.  And I gotta crack the whip because she's way behind on all of them, the little slacker.
7. I voted for John McCain.
8. Those surrogate kids of mine?  Don't exist. The only kid in my life is stupid little Nancy and if she doesn't catch up on those recaps, that's gonna change in a big way.
9. You think Megan's favorite TV shows are "Lost," "American Idol," "House," "24" and shows like that, don't you?  Well no.  My favorite show?  "The Osbournes Reloaded."
10. I hate teenagers.
11. I hated teenagers even when I was one.
12. I'm reaching a milestone birthday this year and haven't decided how many people I'm telling the number to.
13. I'm having a birthday party.
14. My favorite song these days, Madonna's "Jump."  I am so ready to jump!  And look out when I do.
15. If my in time at my day job is 9 AM, as long as I get to Penn Station by 9 AM, I consider myself on time.
16. My dog Daisy?  She wasn't a cocker spaniel.  She was a chihuahua.
17. I almost always believe I'm the smartest person in any room.
18. I don't really believe Oprah's a goddess.  I just said that so I'd have a good SEO phrase.
19. I want to have Bill O'Reilly's baby.
20. I use a Twitter ghost writer.
21. My Twitter ghost writer?  You guessed it, Nancy.
22. One of my neighbors is a black belt in judo.
23. One of my other neighbors is a screenwriter.
24. Simon Cowell and I once chatted on the phone.
25. Facebook bought my idea about paying users to write memes.

Tomorrow's meme?  25 reasons you can't believe everything you read on April Fool's Day.