"Desperate Housewives" Snap Recap: "Mama Spent Money When She Had None" (2/8/09)
I like that quote...a lot.
No sooner does Lynette sell off Tom's fire engine red classic sports car for extra cash than Bree drives up in a brand new Lexus. Understandable jealousy ensues.
After Lynette goes home, Katherine lets it slip to the other wives that the Scavos are having major financial trouble.
Susan gets little MJ into some fancy schmancy private school only to discover the tuition fees are astronomical. Meanwhile Carlos and Gabby are living well after Carlos is promised a big bonus. Gabby is thrilled and the two make plans to go out to a fancy schmancy restaurant.
Bob tells Lee that Crazy Dave was the one who fingered Porter in the arson of the nightclub. Lee wants to tell Tom and Lynette, but Bob is like, no way.
Susan wants Mike to make extra money for MJ's tuition and when she finds out Mike bought Kat a string of pearls, she goes ballistic and breaks into Kat's house to steal them. Since she's Susan, the caper doesn't go very well and Kat catches her. Turns out Mike bought fakes and has to tell Kat when she and Susan confront him. Poor Mike.
Kat forgives him but Mike doesn't forgive Susan for thinking he would spend money on pearls instead of the kid. He tells her if "we're falling short, it's not because of me." You go, Mike.
Bree gives Lynette a check for twenty thousand dollars since she's doing so well and the Scavos are doing so crappy. Lynette only accepts after Bree agrees to takes fifteen percent of the restaurant.
It's a big mistake though because Lynette's thank you party at Scavos turns into a Bree book signing. Bree then has a hissy fit when she finds out Lynette plans to make her recipes with "sub-standard" ingredients. There's a big blowup and Lynette ends up denting Bree's brand new car. By the end of the episode, she pays Bree for the car damage, but the damage to the friendship is still there.
To fit into a fancy schmancy red dress for the fancy schmancy restaurant, Gabby signs up with Edie's exercise boot camp. It's run by an ex-Israeli army commando and his camp makes Marine training look like adult Gymboree. He doles out punishments quicker than you can say ruined manicure and Gabby is shocked and insulted by such harsh treatment.
She tries to quit, but the Israeli commando doesn't allow quitting. Gabby tries to talk back, but the Israeli commando doesn't allow talking back. Edie gets the heat for Gabby's misdeeds because she brought Gabby to the group in the first place.
When Gabby gets all snooty and ungrateful, Edie tells her the other women are trying to support her desire to get into that fancy red dress for the fancy schmancy restaurant and Gabby could show a bit more appreciation.
Sufficiently chastised, Gabby gets with the Israeli commando program and eventually fits into the red dress.
At Bree's book signing at Scavos, Lee tells Tom about Dave being the witness who nailed Porter. Tom responds by punching Dave out and telling him they're no longer friends. Dave pretends to be all sorry and everything, but when Tom takes another swing at him, Crazy Dave comes out in full force and gets freakin' scary.
Susan, still trying to figure out how to pay for MJ's school asks the headmaster for a job since teachers get a 50% discount on tuition. At first he says no, there aren't any positions open, but Susan convinces him after saying MJ needs extra attention and may slip through the cracks if she can't get him in the school. She offers to serve lunches or sweep floors, but she's willing to do any job.
The headmaster takes pity on her and MJ and offers her and art teacher's assistant job. She happily takes it.
Remember, it's all about money. Or the lack thereof.