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November 09, 2008

"Desperate Housewives" Snap Recap: "There's Always A Woman" (11/2/08)

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Carlos

Frances Conroy, recently of "Six Feet Under," joins "Desperate Housewives" as Mrs. Hildebrand, a wealthy woman who's one of Carlos' clients.

Carlos knows he has magic hands when it comes to massages but he becomes disturbed when he realizes Mrs. Hildebrand is having more than just a relaxing experience on his table. 

She's actually having orgasms.

Now that's not too bad for Carlos since she also hands out $300 tips, but he hesitates when she offers to take him to Europe with her for two months, as her personal masseur.  When Gabby hears about Mrs. H's offer to pay $100,000 for the trip and the service, she's like, Carlos, start packing.

But when she finds out about Mrs. H's happy endings, she confronts her and says it's time to call the relationship quits.  Mrs. H reassures Gabby there's nothing funny going on and the "big O" incident was a one time thing.  She even offers to bring the whole Solis family on the European trip, and Gabby can go to all the couture fashion shows with her while there.  Gabby's sold.

Tom rents a warehouse from realtor Anne Shilling, the hot mother of one of Porter's friends.  Lynette suspects Tom's having an affair when she catches him alone with the Hot Mama and when he hangs out at the warehouse without his band mates to play video games.  Finally, when Lynette follows Tom back to the warehouse one night just in time to see Hot Mama slip out a side door while straightening her clothes, Lynette's certain there's an affair and goes home to pack.

But what she doesn't know is Tom isn't at the warehouse to have an affair with Hot Mama.  He's there to catch Porter and his empty condom packets.  Porter lies and says the girl he's sleeping with is someone from school, but as soon as Tom gets him home, he sneaks away to steal more kisses with Anne.

Susan tells her romance troubles to her new painter, who couldn't care less, but still advises her to patch things up with Jackson.  When she tries to do that, Susan walks in on Jackson's one night stand and then has the nerve to be all snippy about it.

Jackson's naturally confused but nonetheless, agrees with Susan to start over. 

Orson's friend and former college roommate Peter Hickey needs a caterer for his parent's anniversary party and Orson bags him for Kat and Bree.  When Bree discovers he's an eligible bachelor, she sets him up with a "feeling at loose ends" Kat.

It works like a charm and before you can say, "hop into bed" that's exactly what they've done.  But by that time, Orson's confessed to Bree that Peter was his roommate alright, but in jail, not in college.  Turns out "he's a convicted grave robber," as Bree calls him.  Heh.

Anyway, when Bree tells Kat, she's understandably upset, describing herself as a woman who "hops into bed with the first pancreas thief who kisses her."  She's just about to kiss Wisteria Lane goodbye and head off to Maryland where Dylan now lives, but Bree convinces her to stay.  She feels like Kat's the sister she never had and she doesn't want to lose her. Ahhh.

On her way home, Kat sees Mike returning from a bad blind date and offers him a tall glass of homemade lemonade.  Mike agrees and I sense something more than lemonade brewing.

Lily Tomlin guest stars as McCluskey's sister Roberta.  McCluskey calls Roberta to take her home from the hospital and also to get more dirt on Dave.  From some of their conversation, we figure out that these two old broads are not women to be toyed with.  Before that however, McCluskey throws off a visiting Edie by saying it was bad meds that made her wig out on Dave at her birthday party and she's very sorry.

Speaking of Dave, he's loving the new warehouse space and all the guys there jamming with the band.  Orson's on keyboard---they're going to let him do vocals on "Hotel California"---Dave's on drums, Tom's on guitar and Mike's on bass.  Even Carlos is there on tambourine. 

At one point, Dave tries to get Mike to rehearse with the band more often than two days a week.  Mike says no and get suspicious when Dave keeps pushing so Dave has to back the heck off.  It's not until Dave admits to Edie that he once had a brother, Steven who was killed in prison by another prisoner, do we discover what Creepy Dave's agenda might be.

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