"Desperate Housewives" Snap Recap: "Free" (5/18/08)

This episode takes place the day after the end of the previous episode, "The Gun Song."

Kat goes to the police station to report Adam's kidnapping by Psycho Daddy. It makes her flashback to another time when she reported Psycho Daddy after he beat her up.  A policewoman gave her the advice to take Dylan and run because his cop friends would never put Psycho Daddy away.  They played golf together after all.

Flash forward to Kat in present day, and Detective Pete, who also plays golf with Psycho Daddy, won't take Kat seriously either.

Kat goes home and interrupts Bree during the wives' weekly poker game, telling her she can't help cater Bob and Lee's commitment ceremony, because she's leaving town.  Bree immediately enlists the unwilling help of the wives to take up the slack.

Kat goes home to pack, figuring she and Dylan are going to have to go on the run once again.  Dylan doesn't want to go and insists on knowing what's going on.  Kat tells her the truth, which we don't hear, and  a distressed Dylan runs out of the house.

Gaby and Carlos get a call from Drug Dealer Ellie.  It seems she left behind a teddy bear that has 118 grand in it though she doesn't tell Gaby that.  However Gaby finds the money all on her own and tells Ellie she didn't find the bear at all.

During commitment ceremony planning Bob and Lee have a fight over which ice sculpture to order, a cherub or a castle.  Bob insists on the cherub and Lee agrees until Tom pumps him full of testosterone and says if Lee doesn't take a stand now, he's "doomed" in the relationship.

Tom might have had a point, because when Lee comes back and insists on the castle, Bob agrees, but when Lee's back is turned, orders the cherub anyway.  He tells Lynette and Bree, "Later when he bitches about it, I'll just buy him some jewelry."  Heh.

Orson tries to use his excellent penmanship to get back into Bree's good graces, offering to write out cards for the ceremony.  Bree blows him off, but when she goes to pick up the cherub ice sculpture and gets a blowout, Orson comes to the rescue.  Later Bree tells him even though she knows they belong together, she can't forgive him until he turns himself in and takes his punishment.

Kat goes home after looking for Dylan only to find Psycho Daddy in her house.  He pulls a gun on her and wants to know the truth, or he'll find Dylan and kill her.

In the Delfino household, Julie's gotten into Princeton for the fall and been offered an internship for the summer.  Selfish Susan refuses to let her go, but by the end of the episode changes her mind.  She didn't know what she would do without Julie, since Julie's been the rock in the relationship for so long.

At the commitment ceremony, things are about to get started when Lee sees the cherub ice sculpture and has the expected hissy fit.  He and Bob get into a fight and the ceremony is called off.  Lynette and Tom overhear the fight and when Lynette discovers Tom's advice to Lee, she and Tom do some impromptu pre-commitment ceremony counseling. 

Lynette starts to tell Bob and Lee that Tom didn't mean what he said, but Tom says he did.  He then goes on to give a beautiful, heartfelt speech about how if Bob and Lee are sweating the small stuff, they don't belong together.   Because when the big stuff like, tornadoes, evil children and cancer come along, it only gets harder, so you better make sure the person in bed with you is worth all that trouble.

See, this is why I want Tom for my husband.  He's much too good for Lynette.  Tom sweetie, call me.

Bob and Lee agree they're deeply, madly, truly in love, so the ceremony's back on.   Once again, kudos to Doug Savant for a wonderful performance in this scene.

Though even his great acting can't explain to me why Tom loves that harpie.

Over at Kat's, there's like an unofficial open house.   Psycho Daddy's still holding a gun on Kat, but Drug Dealer Ellie plays right into his hands when she shows up.  See, she went to Carlos and Gaby's for her teddy bear and her money, but after a scuffle with Gaby, she has to escape with the police hot on her trail.

She picked the wrong place to hide out though because Psycho Daddy figures he'll use her as the patsy for Kat's murder and shoots her dead.

Then Bree comes over to confront Kat about leaving her stranded with the catering job and Psycho Daddy takes her hostage too.  Kat finally tells the truth about Dylan when Psycho Daddy threatens to shoot Bree's kneecap.  So here it is, the long lost Mayfair family secret. 

In a nutshell, Psycho Daddy showed up in Fairview months after Kat took Dylan and left him.  Mary Alice was babysitting Dylan while Aunt Lily and Kat were out.  Psycho Daddy showed up, giving Dylan a bicycle and a doll and promising to be back.

Kat didn't want Dylan to have any of his gifts, so while she's sleeping, Kat puts the doll on top of a tall dresser.  Psycho Daddy came to confront Kat, making all kinds of noise about wanting his daughter, but when he gots physical, Kat knocked him a good one upside the head with a candlestick.  This is obviously the scene that Susan's cousin described.  You know, the hot looking cousin who lost his virginity to Kat.

Anyway, Psycho Daddy went away, but in the middle of the night Kat heard Aunt Lily scream.  When she went to Dylan's attic bedroom she discovered that Dylan tried to get the doll from the top of the dresser and pulled the whole thing down on herself.  She was dead.  Aunt Lily convinced Kat to bury the body and keep it a secret, because she was certain Psycho Daddy would figure out a way for Kat to be charged with Dylan's murder.

To hide the secret even further---and this is where we get deep into soap opera territory folks---Kat went to Romania and adopted an orphan who looked like Dylan.  Then she raised her as Dylan and that's the girl we've been seeing all along.

Psycho Daddy is enraged and raises the gun to shoot Kat when Adam, who escaped his torture chamber and stole a car, comes storming in and takes Psycho Daddy down.  Adam's a bloody mess so Bree takes him to the kitchen for some first aid and they leave Kat holding a gun on Psycho Daddy.

Psycho Daddy then makes the grave mistake of gloating to Kat about how, even if he has to do time, his cop friends will make sure he gets out early and then he'll make her pay.  Kat sees the truth in that statement and being the very smart woman she is, does exactly what I would have done...puts a bullet right through the center of his heart.  Bye, bye Psycho Daddy.

When the cops come for Kat, the wives band together and make sure they hear how psycho, Psycho Daddy really was.  Bree tips the scales by saying that Kat got the gun from Psycho Daddy and shot him before he could shoot them.  Detective Pete shows up and declares the incident a self defense case.

As Kat is taken off to the hospital, Dylan arrives, throws her arms around Kat and apologizes for everything.

Fade to black...and fade up to...

"Five years later."

So the rumors were true.  Marc Cherry, you sly dog.

Before I tell you what's going on five years from now, here's a shameless plug.  A few weeks ago I wrote a post for BlogHer, "'Desperate Housewives' A Flash Forward," about what might happen on the show if the producers flashed forward fifteen years.  Take a look and let me know what you think.

But back to the show, Mary Alice tells us her good friends get together every week for a poker game.
Those friends are Kat, Bree, Lynette, Susan, and a hagged out looking Gaby.

What follows is a little vignette telling us where everyone's at:

The poker game is at Gaby's house and afterward we see her with...two little girls!  Her little girls.  They've been in her makeup and her Vera Wang dresses and Gaby's not happy about that at all. 

At the Van de Camp house, Queen Bree comes home and chats with a very GQ looking Andrew.  Bree has a cook book coming out and Andrew is fielding her phone calls.  She and Orson are still married and she goes up to join him in a bubble bath.

At the Scavo house, Lynette and Tom have their hands full with P & P.  A cop is describing to them how Preston was picked up for taking a car on a joyride and is this close to going back to juvenile hall.

At Kat's house, she's alone, listening to a phone message from Dylan.  She's in Paris and her boyfriend Bradley asked her to marry him.  Kat looks delighted. 

Finally, Susan comes home and calls out to...some unknown guy who's not Mike!  Where's Mike?  Susan kisses the guy and it looks like they're a couple.

But I like Mike!  They better bring back Mike.  Marc Cherry, you hear me?  You better bring back Mike.

See you next year on Wisteria Lane.

During commitment ceremony planning Bob and Lee have a fight over which ice sculpture to order, a cherub or a castle.  Bob insists on the cherub and Lee agrees until Tom pumps him full of testosterone and says if Lee doesn't take a stand now, he's "doomed" in the relationship.

Tom might have had a point, because when Lee comes back and insists on the castle, Bob agrees, but when Lee's back is turned, orders the cherub anyway.  He tells Lynette and Bree, "Later when he bitches about it, I'll just buy him some jewelry."  Heh.

Orson tries to use his excellent penmanship to get back into Bree's good graces, offering to write out cards for the ceremony.  Bree blows him off, but when she goes to pick up the cherub ice sculpture and gets a blowout, Orson comes to the rescue.  Later Bree tells him even though she knows they belong together, she can't forgive him until he turns himself in and takes his punishment.

Kat goes home after looking for Dylan only to find Psycho Daddy in her house.  He pulls a gun on her and wants to know the truth, or he'll find Dylan and kill her.

In the Delfino household, Julie's gotten into Princeton for the fall and been offered an internship for the summer.  Selfish Susan refuses to let her go, but by the end of the episode changes her mind.  She didn't know what she would do without Julie, since Julie's been the rock in the relationship for so long.

At the commitment ceremony, things are about to get started when Lee sees the cherub ice sculpture and has the expected hissy fit.  He and Bob get into a fight and the ceremony is called off.  Lynette and Tom overhear the fight and when Lynette discovers Tom's advice to Lee, she and Tom do some impromptu pre-commitment ceremony counseling. 

Lynette starts to tell Bob and Lee that Tom didn't mean what he said, but Tom says he did.  He then goes on to give a beautiful, heartfelt speech about how if Bob and Lee are sweating the small stuff, they don't belong together.   Because when the big stuff like, tornadoes, evil children and cancer come along, it only gets harder, so you better make sure the person in bed with you is worth all that trouble.

See, this is why I want Tom for my husband.  He's much too good for Lynette.  Tom sweetie, call me.

Bob and Lee agree they're deeply, madly, truly in love, so the ceremony's back on.   Once again, kudos to Doug Savant for a wonderful performance in this scene.

Though even his great acting can't explain to me why Tom loves that harpie.

Over at Kat's, there's like an unofficial open house.   Psycho Daddy's still holding a gun on Kat, but Drug Dealer Ellie plays right into his hands when she shows up.  See, she went to Carlos and Gaby's for her teddy bear and her money, but after a scuffle with Gaby, she has to escape with the police hot on her trail.

She picked the wrong place to hide out though because Psycho Daddy figures he'll use her as the patsy for Kat's murder and shoots her dead.

Then Bree comes over to confront Kat about leaving her stranded with the catering job and Psycho Daddy takes her hostage too.  Kat finally tells the truth about Dylan when Psycho Daddy threatens to shoot Bree's kneecap.  So here it is, the long lost Mayfair family secret. 

In a nutshell, Psycho Daddy showed up in Fairview months after Kat took Dylan and left him.  Mary Alice was babysitting Dylan while Aunt Lily and Kat were out.  Psycho Daddy showed up, giving Dylan a bicycle and a doll and promising to be back.

Kat didn't want Dylan to have any of his gifts, so while she's sleeping, Kat puts the doll on top of a tall dresser.  Psycho Daddy came to confront Kat, making all kinds of noise about wanting his daughter, but when he gots physical, Kat knocked him a good one upside the head with a candlestick.  This is obviously the scene that Susan's cousin described.  You know, the hot looking cousin who lost his virginity to Kat.

Anyway, Psycho Daddy went away, but in the middle of the night Kat heard Aunt Lily scream.  When she went to Dylan's attic bedroom she discovered that Dylan tried to get the doll from the top of the dresser and pulled the whole thing down on herself.  She was dead.  Aunt Lily convinced Kat to bury the body and keep it a secret, because she was certain Psycho Daddy would figure out a way for Kat to be charged with Dylan's murder.

To hide the secret even further---and this is where we get deep into soap opera territory folks---Kat went to Romania and adopted an orphan who looked like Dylan.  Then she raised her as Dylan and that's the girl we've been seeing all along.

Psycho Daddy is enraged and raises the gun to shoot Kat when Adam, who escaped his torture chamber and stole a car, comes storming in and takes Psycho Daddy down.  Adam's a bloody mess so Bree takes him to the kitchen for some first aid and they leave Kat holding a gun on Psycho Daddy.

Psycho Daddy then makes the grave mistake of gloating to Kat about how, even if he has to do time, his cop friends will make sure he gets out early and then he'll make her pay.  Kat sees the truth in that statement and being the very smart woman she is, does exactly what I would have done...puts a bullet right through the center of his heart.  Bye, bye Psycho Daddy.

When the cops come for Kat, the wives band together and make sure they hear how psycho, Psycho Daddy really was.  Bree tips the scales by saying that Kat got the gun from Psycho Daddy and shot him before he could shoot them.  Detective Pete shows up and declares the incident a self defense case.

As Kat is taken off to the hospital, Dylan arrives, throws her arms around Kat and apologizes for everything.

Fade to black...and fade up to...

"Five years later."

So the rumors were true.  Marc Cherry, you sly dog.

Before I tell you what's going on five years from now, here's a shameless plug.  A few weeks ago I wrote a post for BlogHer, "'Desperate Housewives' A Flash Forward," about what might happen on the show if the producers flashed forward fifteen years.  Take a look and let me know what you think.

But back to the show, Mary Alice tells us her good friends get together every week for a poker game.
Those friends are Kat, Bree, Lynette, Susan, and a hagged out looking Gaby.

What follows is a little vignette telling us where everyone's at:

The poker game is at Gaby's house and afterward we see her with...two little girls!  Her little girls.  They've been in her makeup and her Vera Wang dresses and Gaby's not happy about that at all. 

At the Van de Camp house, Queen Bree comes home and chats with a very GQ looking Andrew.  Bree has a cook book coming out and Andrew is fielding her phone calls.  She and Orson are still married and she goes up to join him in a bubble bath.

At the Scavo house, Lynette and Tom have their hands full with P & P.  A cop is describing to them how Preston was picked up for taking a car on a joyride and is this close to going back to juvenile hall.

At Kat's house, she's alone, listening to a phone message from Dylan.  She's in Paris and her boyfriend Bradley asked her to marry him.  Kat looks delighted. 

Finally, Susan comes home and calls out to...some unknown guy who's not Mike!  Where's Mike?  Susan kisses the guy and it looks like they're a couple.

But I like Mike!  They better bring back Mike.  Marc Cherry, you hear me?  You better bring back Mike.

See you next year on Wisteria Lane.