Megan's Minute: "Desperate Housewives" Snap Recap: "Opening Doors" (5/4/08)

This week's lesson on Wisteria Lane is that if you open your doors to strangers, you might have major problems on your hands.

Last week the Scavos learned the twins, Porter and Preston torched the restaurant of Tom's rival for Lynette's affections.

Their punishment? Washing dishes.

Tom thinks that's about as stupid as I do, but Lynette thinks it's perfectly appropriate and will teach them right from wrong. She wants to handle it "in house." What are they, a conglomerate? Tom correctly thinks they need a shrink.

Well it turns out P & P didn't come up with their brilliant idea on their own. Not that they're not big time JDs in the making. The Fairview Juvenile Hall has a nice big padded cell picked out just for them, but this time Big Sis Kayla was the brains behind the torching incident.

When Lynette finds out, she furiously tells Tom something needs to be done. Tom thinks Kayla should do dishes, Lynette think she needs a shrink. Heh.

Have I mentioned how I can't stand Lynette? Not because she thinks Kayla needs a shrink 'cause God knows the child is evil with a capital "E," but because anything that relates to Lynette a la P & P is always good and innocent and anything relating to anyone else is automatically bad, bad, bad.

When Lynette tries to take Kayla to a shrink against Tom's wishes, Kayla blackmails her way out of it by threatening to turn P & P in to the cops. Meanwhile, P & P's punishment for babbling? Kayla tricks them into trying to jumping off the roof with an umbrella, a la Mary Poppins. One of them does it and breaks his arm.

On the Bree and Orson front, Orson's drowning his sorrows and complaining about his miserable life at Fairview Towers. Queen Bree tells him the only way he can come home is if he confesses all to the police and does his time. He refuses. Next thing you know, Edie's invited him to stay with her which makes Bree just about as thrilled as you'd expect.

Over martinis Edie makes a play for Orson and though they don't go past kissing, Bree sees them and assumes the worst.

Carlos and Gaby are so strapped for cash, they're renting out a room to a stranger. Their tenant is Ellie, a supposed art school student. Ellie is played by Justine Bateman who used to play Mallory Keaton on "Famiy Ties." I haven't seen Justine in a long time, but she looks like she's done some hard living since those days.

Eventually we discover she's a drug dealer and I suppose that could account for Justine's haggard druggie face, bad druggie makeup, sunken druggie eyes and excessive druggie aging: she's method acting. But I don't think so.

Susan and Mike are happily awaiting Baby Delfino, but when Susan goes to a Lamaze class without Mike and runs into her ex, Carl, she's insecure about his cute, young, pregnant wife. Carl is more obnoxious than usual, rubbing his new life in Susan's face. Then Susan loses it when Mike admits to Carl on another night that he's just out of Camp Rehab.

Dylan's still meeting Psycho Daddy, of the mirrored sunglasses. He's calling her "Princess" and playing the poor kid like a fiddle. Dylan covers by telling Kat she's got a new boyfriend, but is not ready to introduce him yet.

One night Kat follows her and discovers the truth about Psycho Daddy. That same night Psycho Daddy manipulates Dylan into coming clean with Kat.

Kat is kneading dough in the kitchen when Dylan does just that. Still kneading the dough Kat says, "I knew this day was coming and I prepared myself"

Dylan goes out to the car to get Psycho Daddy and he's checking himself out in the side view mirror of the car. What is with him and mirrors?

With a deliciously fake smile, Kat asks Dylan to go up to her room so she and Psycho Daddy can talk. We get intermittent closeups of the dough during their conversation which is awesome.

Psycho Daddy tells Kat the same, "I'm different, I've changed" story he's been feeding to "Princess," except Kat ain't hungry.

In a wonderfully chilling speech, Kat give Psycho Daddy the crystal clear message, she ain't afraid of him no more. On the contrary, he should probably be very afraid of her. Especially since, the entire time she's talking to him, there's a gun right at her fingertips.

Awesome Dana Delany, awesome scene.

Photo copyright and courtesy ABC