"Desperate Housewives" Snap Recap: "Sunday" (4/13/08)

After having survived all kinds of brushes with death, Lynette decides it's time to get some of that ol' time religion.

She's ready to give up her heathen status and get herself and her family to church.  Tom is reluctantly convinced when one of the twins, I don't know which, says that "Jesus is the guy who helps Santa Claus."  Heh.

And who better to get advice from than the "most religious person I know," but Queen Bree Van De Camp.

Bree's first advice?  "Don't go Catholic.  I go to church for worship, not a workout."

Bree's thrilled with her new disciples, thinking that bringing in new members to her Presbyterian fold will get her in good with the minister and clinch that Ladies Auxiliary committee she wants to chair.  She's mortified however when right in the middle of the sermon Lynette starts acting like the minister's holding a press conference.

Oh, Minister, Minister, if there's a God, why is there evil?  If there's a God, why is there poverty?  If there's a God, why are there hangnails?  You get the picture.

The minister, Headmaster Charleston from Chilton, diplomatically suggests that instead of interrupting his sermon, Lynette get her heathen butt to bible study on Tuesday nights.

At Kat Mayfair's house of deep, dark secrets, Kat's nursing her lonely wounds when the wives come bearing comfort muffins and jam.  Kat sarcastically shoots down the wives' assertion that they're there to comfort her.  She knows a fishing expedition when she sees one.

Mary Alice tells us a little more about why Kat is so surly all the time.  Her first husband used to hit her and one day when she'd finally had enough, she took a crack at his noggin with a candlestick.  After the wives leave, their muffins uneaten, Kat takes a trip out to an unmarked grave and sits on a rock and cries.  Hm.

Susan's still playing host to Bree, Orson and Little Ben, and with tax season fast approaching, her hot, young studly cousin Tim is there to clean up the Delfino household...tax-wise that is.  Tim's also got an eye for the ladies, the younger the better and when Susan thinks he's taking an interest in soon-to-be eighteen Dylan, Susan does everything in her power to keep them apart.

A blind Carlos is still in the hospital and gets a pity visit from Edie.  She returns the "diamond" bracelet he gave her as a peace offering for losing his life savings in The Tornado.  Too bad the bracelet isn't really diamond and also too bad, Edie's so peeved when she finds out, she tells Gabby, right after she remarries Carlos that he's not going to be blind for only a few months like he told her, he's going to be blind for life.

Gabby takes her revenge via Carlos' stomach when she feeds him a dog food stew, seasoned with dish water.  Then she tells Carlos the reason's she's angry is because he didn't trust her enough to tell her the truth.  She'll stick by him through thick and thin.  Sight or no sight. 

And Carlos, if you believe that, I have a solid gold cane I'd like to sell you.

Back at the Mayfair household, Dylan shows Julie the remnants of the note Aunt Lily left her.  The burned piece of paper has the words "your father was murdered," among other words that are illegible.  Determined to get to the truth, she decides to speak to Adam, but Kat gets to him first.  In his seedy motel room, Kat convinces Adam to continue lying to Dylan so that Kat can stay out of jail.  He reluctantly agrees.

When Kat opens her heart about how lonely she is and how she wants Adam back, Adam doesn't even hesitate before saying, "Ah, hell no."

This final rejection drives Kat into the arms of Tim, to Susan's consternation.  You see Susan finds them in bed after suspecting that Tim was really doing the nasty with Dylan.  Tim and Kat have a history since ten years before, when he was sixteen, she was the first to add up his numbers, so to speak.

Back on the road to heaven, Lynette's determined to be well prepared for bible study and buys a sparkling new bible.  But when Bree tries to teach her church etiquette, Lynette cottons on to the fact that Bree is embarrassed by Lynette's questions.  Bree tries to hide it, suggesting the Scavos attend "that gospel church by the airport," but Lynette gets the point.

Next thing you know, the Scavos are at the local Catholic emporium...I mean, church.

Bree tracks them down after discovering her minister actually liked Lynette's questions and was happy Bree brought the Scavos to his church.  Bree and Lynette reconcile over a bible and some coffee and the theological pontificating is non-stop.

When Susan gets a chance to question Tim about his teen relationship with Kat, she discovers that Tim saw Kat hit her ex-husband with a candlestick on a night when Tim went over for some hot lovin'.

Adam, meanwhile, plays his part and lies to Dylan:  her mother didn't kill her father.  Oh Dylan, if you believe that, I have a solid gold candlestick I'd like to sell you.

A blind Carlos is still in the hospital and gets a pity visit from Edie.  She returns the "diamond" bracelet he gave her as a peace offering for losing his life savings in The Tornado.  Too bad the bracelet isn't really diamond and also too bad, Edie's so peeved when she finds out, she tells Gabby, right after she remarries Carlos that he's not going to be blind for only a few months like he told her, he's going to be blind for life.

Gabby takes her revenge via Carlos' stomach when she feeds him a dog food stew, seasoned with dish water.  Then she tells Carlos the reason's she's angry is because he didn't trust her enough to tell her the truth.  She'll stick by him through thick and thin.  Sight or no sight. 

And Carlos, if you believe that, I have a solid gold cane I'd like to sell you.

Back at the Mayfair household, Dylan shows Julie the remnants of the note Aunt Lily left her.  The burned piece of paper has the words "your father was murdered," among other words that are illegible.  Determined to get to the truth, she decides to speak to Adam, but Kat gets to him first.  In his seedy motel room, Kat convinces Adam to continue lying to Dylan so that Kat can stay out of jail.  He reluctantly agrees.

When Kat opens her heart about how lonely she is and how she wants Adam back, Adam doesn't even hesitate before saying, "Ah, hell no."

This final rejection drives Kat into the arms of Tim, to Susan's consternation.  You see Susan finds them in bed after suspecting that Tim was really doing the nasty with Dylan.  Tim and Kat have a history since ten years before, when he was sixteen, she was the first to add up his numbers, so to speak.

Back on the road to heaven, Lynette's determined to be well prepared for bible study and buys a sparkling new bible.  But when Bree tries to teach her church etiquette, Lynette cottons on to the fact that Bree is embarrassed by Lynette's questions.  Bree tries to hide it, suggesting the Scavos attend "that gospel church by the airport," but Lynette gets the point.

Next thing you know, the Scavos are at the local Catholic emporium...I mean, church.

Bree tracks them down after discovering her minister actually liked Lynette's questions and was happy Bree brought the Scavos to his church.  Bree and Lynette reconcile over a bible and some coffee and the theological pontificating is non-stop.

When Susan gets a chance to question Tim about his teen relationship with Kat, she discovers that Tim saw Kat hit her ex-husband with a candlestick on a night when Tim went over for some hot lovin'.

Adam, meanwhile, plays his part and lies to Dylan:  her mother didn't kill her father.  Oh Dylan, if you believe that, I have a solid gold candlestick I'd like to sell you.