This week Wisteria Lane becomes suburbia's version of a war zone. It all begins when Bob and Lee decide Wisteria Lane needs a touch of the Museum of Modern Art. So in their front yard they install a sculpture.
As Mary Alice tells us, it took workmen three hours to assemble the piece, but "sadly, it only took fifteen minutes for the residents of Wisteria Lane..."
"What the hell is it?"
"...to become art critics."
The wives get a gander at the thing which I like to think of as a silver corn stalk with an upside down trumpet on top. Next time "Dr. Who" needs a new alien, add a high-pitched, squeaky voice, some lights and they're good to go.
Susan: "I think it's a sculpture."
McCluskey: "I think it's crap."
Our lovable Queen Bree: "Of all the gay men in the world, we have to get the two without taste."
While Gabby thinks they're being punked, Kat is ready to take action. She asks about the Homeowners Association only to be told it's been dormant since the last president blew her brains out because she murdered a woman so she could keep her child.
Well Kat says if she were president of the association, she'd "get rid of this tin foil atrocity by the weekend."
Susan wants to take the moderate approach. As long as it's not her, maybe one of the wives should talk to Bob and Lee. McCluskey thinks Bree should do it because she "can relate to them."
When Bree asks what that means, McCluskey explains, "You got a kid who came flying out of the closet and a husband who's been looking for the doorknob."
Everyone stares. McCluskey shrugs, "Well, you met him."
Gotta love that McCluskey.
Bree, Kat and Gabby go over to Bob and Lee. Bree and Gabby hem and haw until Kat blurts out the corn stalk is ugly and this close to destroying life as we know it on Wisteria Lane. It has to go.
Lee explains they actually commissioned the thing for $24,000, no less. These guys have entirely too much disposable income.
Then he sarcastically suggests covering it with a "gingham throw" to make it more acceptable.
That doesn't go over well so Susan pipes up that she once took an art class---in kindergarten I'm sure---and she learned "art is subjective" so she doesn't mind the ugly piece of tin. Susan, your pert little nose should start growing any time now.
No matter, Bob and Lee have no intention of removing their corn stalk. The ladies can like it or lump it. Lee dismisses them with, "Have a nice day, Philistines."
Mary Alice: "Art came to Wisteria Lane on a Tuesday morning."
Kat: "I think it's time to reconvene the Homeowner's Association. All in favor?"
The Wives: "I!"
Mary Alice: "War had come as well."