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August 24, 2007

"Damages" Recap - Episode 5: A Regular Earl Anthony

Dsc_5346a Last week we got an episode all about caterer Katie.  This week we get an episode all about flunky Tom.

It's present day and Ellen is meeting with Hollis Nye at the police station and he's asking her to "help him, help her."  There are more scenes of a dog barking and Ellen fighting off an attacker.  The dog is on the patio behind sliding glass doors barking at the struggle going on in the living room.  Turns out he's Patty's dog and his name is Cory.  Remember from Episode 1, he's with Patty at the dog run trying to "hump the Ridgeback."  Now  if Cory got into the living room who do you think he'd help?  Considering he's Patty's dog it's probably a toss up.

Flashback four months to flunky Tom and his friend, who it seems doubles as his life coach---and also calls him Tomahawk---biking in Central Park and forcing him to acknowledge how much he's sick of Patty's sh**t.  Tom does a "Breaking Away" and yells I'm sick of Patty Hewes's sh**t!"

Now, I gotta tell you.  I know this is FX and everything but it's not necessary to keep using the sh**t word every five seconds.  We know you're FX, we know you're hip, trendy..."edgy," so it's not necessary to keep throwing the "s" word at us.  It's annoying.

Opening credits.

We rejoin Life Coach and flunky Tom at the park, and Life Coach is telling him to take the Cutler offer and don't look back.  Life Coach is all "Type A" personality with hip tricks of the trade to get what you want in the corporate dog eat dog world.  Essentially Life Coach is what flunky Tom's not.  "The Patty's of the world, the only way to earn their respect is to show them that you don't need them."

He's absolutely right flunky Tom.  It's time to drop the "f" word from your name and take back the manhood Patty so ruthless severed ten years ago.  Do it Tom.  Do it now.

Next we see Patty all trussed up like a Christmas turkey in some kind of exercise/stretching machine.  Her personal trainer is there telling her all kinds of new age-y things about "fuse your mind and body right through your powerhouse....correct your weakness, correct your imbalance." Patty tells him to shut up, but does it anyway.  Heh.

Fiance David is going to see Katie and have a break from Ellen and Patty's crap.  See, I like the word crap much better than the word sh**t.  The word "crap" has more impact for me.  There's a bite to it. Anyway, David and Ellen have a fight about the time she's spending on the job, and she makes the mistake of giving him the pix of their sample wedding bands to pick out on the plane.  He gives her a look that's like, you're lucky if I come back, lady, and heads out the door.

One Night Stand Greg is feeling all guilty and calls Katie to apologize.  She sees his name on the caller ID and yells at the phone to leave her alone.

Lawyer Ray Fiske is talking to Frobisher and telling him that pulling the $100 million offer and going to trial is a bad idea. Frobisher then does that silly thing men do, relating everything to football.  Either that or "The Godfather."  Frobisher says something about how in football they use "the prevent defense" too much.  That's where you're playing not to lose instead of playing to win.  Frobisher's worried about his rep and wants his good name back.  How good his name was before all this who knows, but whatever it was, he wants it back.  Then he says it's time to go to the mattresses. Just kidding.

Fiske digs deep into his southern fried roots and comes up with my favorite line so far, "The sun don't shine on the same dog's tail all week."

Ted Danson uses his comic skills beautifully here by dead panning two beats before saying, "I have no idea what that means."  Hee, hee.

"It means we got lucky," Fiske translates.

What follows is a truly brilliant piece of acting by Glenn Close and Tate Donovan.

Flunky Tom goes to Patty's for the showdown.  The hubby's out of town, she's eating junk food with Uncle Pete, Frobisher pulled the settlement offer, and all is right with the Patty world. Except....flunky Tom lowers the boom.  He's not going to be flunky Tom anymore.  He's taking the job with Martin Cutler and becoming Tomahawk, a named partner.  She asks if he has that in writing.  Tom's says he does and he waits hesitantly.

Patty says she'd fight to keep him but she thinks Cutler's offer makes a lot of sense and it's in Tom's best interest.  "Deb must be thrilled," she says with all kinds of fake bonhomie.  "When the checks start rolling in don't just save up, spend some on yourself," she continues. "Buy Deb, that big house by the lake that she wants.  Don't forget to invite me over."  It's at this last line where Tom sees how pissed she is.

He starts to thank her for all she's done for him, but she cuts him off. "Don't give it another moment's thought.  I just wish I could top his offer."

She then gives him this wonderful, icy stare that translated means: you greedy, ungrateful s.o.b., I groomed you ten years, took you from nothing, associated you with my glorious name, and gave you all kinds of flunky jobs, and this is how you repay me?  Taking a first class, once in a lifetime, financial and professional windfall that will set you and your family up for life?  Well go, then.  Go flunky Tom, and while you're at it, choke on it.

As you can see, Patty's very happy for him.

Uncle Pete, as if nothing has happened offers "Tommy" a beer.   Tom stares back at Patty and all of a sudden he looks like his domineering mother just told him go off and live on his own if he must, but just remember, you were never my favorite anyway.  He turns down the beer, starts to go and Patty fires after him with a sneer, "Walking out of your own last supper?" 

Awesome scene.

Head DE Larry goes to see Frobisher and calls him out for pulling the settlement.  Frobisher tells him he'll take care of him and his diabetic wife by doubling their arrangement, but he needs Larry to do something else.  Cut to Larry with the other DE's pushing to fire Patty and "cut out the cancer."

DE Karen disagrees saying, "You're a gambler you don't change your horse mid-race do you." 

Larry shoots back, "If it's pullin' up lame I do, then I shoot him. Two, right in the head, real quick.  Problem solved."  Gotta love this guy Larry.  He's every blue collar guy you ever met from the old neighborhood back in Brooklyn or Queens.  He puts the "average" in Average Joe.  Or Average Larry .  Yuppie DE says they need to compromise, and he's got a solution.

Ellen's having Thai dinner with her Mom.  She's upset about the fight between her and David.   Mom reminds her that she has to put her future marriage above her work.  "Talk to Miss Hewes," she says, "I'm sure she'll understand."  Mom, you're living in another century there. You with your church gossip about that new fangled rock and roll mass the pastor's going to try out.  Ellen ends up crying all over her wedding dress and needs some Mom hugging time. Mom obliges.

Back at Patty's office, Foxy Law, whose name it turns out is Felicia, is with Andrew the guy who warned Ellen a couple of episodes ago not to show up the other associates.  The two of them have been plotting a takeover of that second chair Tom left vacate.  Patty's like, no way.  The two of you together aren't good enough to shine my flunky Tom's shoes and until you do something really good and flunky-like you're staying right where you are.  DE Karen bursts into this happy little corporate scene and tells Patty she's been fired and the DEs have hired another lawyer.  Patty, all innocent and dark-eyed asks, "Who?"

Cut to the DEs meeting with their new lawyer...flunky Tom!!  Dun dun Duuuuuun.

Fiske tells Frobisher about this over lunch and Frobisher's like, it's now in the bag.  Fiske is like, hold on there Frobisher. Flunky...I mean, Tomahawk went to Yale law, straight to Rehnquist's office, and then Patty hand picked and groomed him.  "She wouldn't be where she is today without him."

Really?  I found it surprising that Fiske thought that.  Maybe flunky Tom has talents we haven't seen yet.  Fiske says Tomahawk's gonna want a "big score" and maybe he can get him to settle for $75 million.  Frobisher's like, I just took 100 million off the table. Fiske's like, if you listen to my down home southern fried charm, I'll get you off with 75 mil.   Frobisher's like, man I'm eating too much.

Cut to Tomahawk meeting with Fiske.  He turns down Fiske's offered drink and Fiske calls him "a regular Atticus Finch."---if you don't know who Atticus Finch is, go read the book or see the movie.  You'll be glad you did.  They're true classics.

They get down to business and Fiske says to throw out a number. Tomahawk is like, I'm not giving you a number.   I'm taking your corporate parasite down, Mr. Southern Fried Charm.  Your client's the scum of the earth and a crook, and I want everyone to see that.

What do you do right after you've thrown down the gauntlet to opposing counsel?  Parrrrrty!

Tomahawk, wife Deb, Life Coach (who's name I still can't find out) and girlfriend Kira are out on the town.   Life Coach greets Tomahawk with a big ol' back slap and a classic, you look great, did you lose weight, get a haircut, what did you do?   And then he gestures toward Tomahawk's groin, "Oh, it's the size of these things!  You should feel these, he's a regular Earl Anthony over here."  Now I don't quite get the reference since Anthony was a professional bowler and they didn't say anything in his bio about superior genital spheres, but I assume it's a nice little secret joke among the writers.  If anybody wants to let the rest of us in on it, speak up.

Next we're treated to a montage, to a catchy Spice Girls-like song of Tomahawk and his homeys eating, drinking and drinking some more. They dance, they tell stories and then Tom continues drinking, and drinking, and drinking...and drinking.

At the total opposite of the party spectrum, there's One Night Stand Greg crying in his beer when a blond  who's obviously a plant, slides up to his bar stool and ask if anybody ever told him he looks like Tom Cruise.  He's not dumb enough to fall for that one is he?  Turns out he is. When Blondie lures him to the street and goons hired by Grandpa beat him to a bloody pulp because he tried to call Katie, Grandpa who's without the stroller tonight and all dressed up in a tux, wants to make sure Greg stays right where he is.  In Frobisher's pocket.

Back at the party, Life Coach is spouting off about how life is so damn good, but he sees that Tom doesn't think so.  Tom's upset that Patty didn't fight for him.  When he staggers to the bathroom and collapses behind the toilet, he fantasizes about Patty telling him what a wonderful lawyer he is and how getting out from under her shadow was the best thing he ever did.

David arrives at his parents house and has a heart to heart with a bitter Katie.  He wants she and Ellen to make up.  Katie's like, no way.  For all I know you're on Frobisher's payroll too.  David doesn't know what the heck she's talking about so Katie spills it all. Everything about Florida, Greg, why she lied...everything.

An all sobered up Tomahawk meets with Ellen and wants her to come work for him on the Frobisher case.  Ellen correctly suspects he's asking so that he can stick it to Patty, so she says thanks, but no thanks.

Flash forward to Ellen fighting with the masked stranger and Cory barking outside the glass doors.   The struggle is getting more frenzied and intense.

Flashback to Tomahawk picking up little Megan and her saxophone from the music school Cutler helped get her into.  And who's there, but Cutler himself.  He wants Tom's answer to his offer.  Cutler knows the DEs hired him and he's willing to renegotiate but he wants an answer in the morning.  Later on at home, Tom is playing with Megan and doing storybook voices for her.  How cute.  And nothing destroys cute better than a visit from Patty.  They take a walk outside and Patty wants Tom to know if she had to lose the DEs, she's glad she lost them to him. Oh Pullll-eeeeze.

If he ever wants to talk strategy, Patty continues, she's available no strings attached.  Oh Pullll-eeeeeeeeze.

We also find out that Patty became a lawyer because she hates bullies, something Daddy Hewes was evidently very good at.

Patty then gets to the real reason she came. "There's a huge difference between being number one and being number two," she says. "You're a number two Tom.  That's you're talent.  That's you're limit."  Tom's expression turns hard as he finds her words clearly insulting."  Patty continues, "Take them to Cutler.  You'll drown out there on your own Tom.  I don't want the clients drowning with you. You can't do it.  You're not ready."  Poor Tom wavers between Tomahawk and flunky Tom as he watches her stride down the street.

Tom consults with Life Coach who tells him he's got to "pull the trigger."  After all, fortune favors the bold.  I like that quote. Life Coach then tells Tom it's obvious he wants to work for Patty. After all everybody can't be as greedy, ruthless and highly successful as Life Coach is.   But he insists Tom demand a named partnership.

After spending a sleepless night of decision making, Tom shows up at Patty's apartment early in the morning.  He gives her a list of his demands and tells her there's no room to negotiate. She puts on her glasses, looks them over, and asks for a pen.  "Yes...Yeesss...."

She takes off her glasses.  "Partner?"

Tom says he spoke to the DEs and told them no one will fight for them like Patty and leaving her would be a big mistake.  They're willing to come back.   Patty knows what that means and the glasses go back on. She checks off the partnership, "Yes."

There's a pause and she says, "No.  No name on the door.  It's still Hewes and Associates."  Tom, who from now on will be known as Tommyhawk, smiles and says "See you at nine."  Patty folds up the list of demands and she actually looks pleased as Tom walks out the door. Life Coach may be a true jerk that I wouldn't want to spend five seconds with, but he knows what's what and who's who in the corporate world.  And he really knows Tommyhawk.

David's back and wakes up Ellen with a sweet, fiance kiss.  They apologize to each other and David tells Ellen all about One Night Stand Greg and why Katie lied.  Ellen tells Patty and suggests they subpoena him.  Tom strolls up in his new Tommyhawk threads and tells Ellen she did good work.

Flash forward to Hollis Nye telling the police that Ellen was attacked and she killed the person that was trying to kill her.  The body is in Patty Hewes's apartment.

The cops go to Patty's clean, pristine and blood-free apartment. Cory's sitting on the patio, obediently silent.   The cops look around while there are flashes and screams and the sounds of the elevator bell, and finally Patty's voice filtering through, "Trust, no one."

I'd say you could probably trust Cory...but he's not talking.

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