Idol Chit Chat: What's Your Name, Who's Your Daddy?

To Blake with love, my name is Megan, and you can be my Daddy.

It's British Invasion week on "American Idol" and I'm looking forward to Hermits, Zombies, Kinks, and Stones. We've got Lulu, who I love, and Peter Noone who's adorable. Peter's actually in the audience and he's still got that, "Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter" voice. Peter works with the guys, Lulu, the girls and what's neat to see is that Peter and Lulu watch the show. They seem to have a good knowledge of what the contestants have been singing throughout the season and I think that's one reason this was one of the best nights of singing we've had this season.

As a bonus, tonight is our introduction to "Little Crying Girl." She's blond, about 11 years old, and looks like the official representative of the "Save Sanjaya Fan Club."

On with the show!

Haley is up first with "Tell Him," by Billie Davis. Just like Brandon last week she's on the cusp of elimination if she doesn't kick it up a notch. And kick it she does. Who knew she had such great legs? This week they're shown off by heels that look like lethal weapons and a pair of cute little hot-pants. Earrings that look like pewter dishes are hanging off her lobes and an up-swept sixties do, combined with a totally backless halter top---I don't know how that thing stayed up---gave her just the right look, and she worked it.

The excellent song choice gave her something to work with and Lulu gave her the rest. The outfit kicked up the sex appeal and between her playful delivery and some competent singing she gave a performance that was a lot of fun. It's the best she's sung on the show.

Randy: "Perfect song for you." It had the "yo factor" all over it.
Paula: Agrees it was the perfect song for her and said she was flirtatious and fun.
Simon: "You naughty little thing. I think people are going to be talking about a lot more than your singing tonight." Translation: He thought it was young and fresh and he wants to jump her bones.

My rank from 1 to 10: 8...and 2 of that is for the outfit.

Chris R. sang a Gerry and the Pacemakers song: "Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying." Well, don't let the viewers catch you boring either. Maybe it's because I don't know the song, but it was a total snooze for me.

Randy: Unlike me, he thought it was "another great performance. Every note was in tune."
Paula: Also unlike me, thought it was "sexy and charming."
Simon: And really unlike me, he thought it was "his best performance ever."

My rank: 6.

Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie. You've come a long way from that exciting singer we saw fling herself on her knees during, "How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore." There was nothing wrong with her "You Don't Have To Say You Love Me," but she set the bar very high for herself, and she hasn't reached it again yet. I dislike the song, but she could have improved it by projecting more feeling. Maybe the pressure's getting to her. I would have loved to see her sing something like, "Downtown." Almost anything to get out of that torch song corner she's pushed herself into. Visa must have heard me, though because one of their commercials during the show used "Downtown." Thanks Visa.

Randy: It was pitchy for him. Would someone get this man a vocabulary book?
Paula: She looked fabulous. She picked the right song, but she needs to have more fun. I agree. Back on your knees Stephanie!
Simon: He thinks she's losing her edge. It was nightclub-by for him and too old. Translation: He wants her on her knees, too.

My rank: 5.

Blake who I still keep mixing up with Chris R, is my new fantasy boyfriend. He sang "Time Of The Season," by the Zombies, a song that has those panting breaths at the beginning and he had me panting too. He prowled the stage and smoldered into the camera and he was fabulous. Be my Daddy, Blake...but lose the plaid pants.

Randy: "Cool, vibby, edgy, massive yo factor. Brilliant."
Paula: Thought he raised the bar, and he could release the song right now.
Simon: "A million times better than last week." He kept the melody while making the song contemporary.

Then Ryan decided he had to mimic Blake's moonwalking, beat boxing moves. Very scary.

My rank for Blake: 9. For Ryan: 0.

LaKisha sings "Diamonds Are Forever" from the James Bond movie of the same title...which by the way came out in 1971. 70's, not 60's. As a kid I was one of the few girls I knew who loved James Bond. Every time "Diamonds Are Forever" is on television I sing along with the wonderful, lyric-chewing Shirley Bassey. Stop laughing.

LaKisha strolls out wearing what is reportedly 1 million dollars worth of the bloody little gems, and when she sings she hits the notes beautifully. Her voice is as great as always, but the performance is not up to her best. When you sing the lines, "stroke it and undress it..." it needs to be sensual and teasing...think Sean Connery in his prime, shaken not stirred..."stroke it and undress it." She didn't have that.

Randy: "Didn't feel enough LaKisha in it."
Paula: She blathers on about the diamonds.
Simon: "This was LaKisha in 50 years time." The whole package was too old. He knows she's a great singer, but it wasn't his favorite performance.

My rank: 7.

Jordin thought Lulu was sweet and cute, and she's going to sing "I Who Have Nothing," a song that's right up there with "All By Myself" as Zoloft song of the year.

Jordin's version? Fabulous. I loved it. It was plaintive and emotional, but still had a youthful quality. Give that girl some Zoloft!

Randy: Thought it was a "great, great performance" One of the best he expects to see tonight.
Paula: "A good singer is a good singer and you're also a wonderful performer"
Simon: "You sang it beautifully, but I feel like jumping off a bridge. It was so gloomy." Give that man some Zoloft!

My rank: 9.

Phil sings "Tobacco Road" by the Nashville Teens. First of all, props to the guitarist on this one 'cause he was wailing. The background singers, great. Phil, not so much. I like bald men, I really do, but there's something about Phil's head that is so distracting. As for the song, he can't sell gritty. The "I was born in a tar-paper shack, in a car by the side of the road, when my dog got run over, while my daddy was drinking" kind of song is too much for him.

Randy: "Was pretty good for me."
Paula: Thought it was a good performance.
Simon: Didn't think it was believable. "You need grit in your voice to be able to pull a song like that off." And he ain't got no grit.

My rank: 5.

Sanjaya's hair is back. Welcome back, Sanjaya's hair. Meanwhile Sanjaya himself is trying to decide if he should sing The Kinks' "You Really Got Me" or Peter Noone's own, "I'm Into Something Good." Neither of these makes me leap out of my chair in ecstasy.

Sanjaya: "I don't think that I'm the best singer in the competition, but I'm just going to work on both of them and hopefully it'll hit me." I hope that's all that hits you, kid.

Peter, with a major dose of realism interviews that he'd love for Sanjaya to choose "I'm Into Something Good" and win the competition because then "The Peter Noone 60"s British Invasion Tour" starring the surviving Herman's Hermits, Lulu and the surviving Kinks can start booking venues. But because he thinks Sanjaya will stick around longer if he sings, "You Really Got Me," that's what he advises him to do. Peter's really a selfless kind of guy.

So out he comes. Heeeeeere's Sanjaya! Rock lights flashing, band jamming, he opens his mouth and---he's not bad. In fact...oh my God...he's verging on good! This is where we first see "Little Crying Girl" in the audience in a hysterical fit. Whether it's from joy or sheer terror, it's hard to tell, but I guess it's joy or someone would have called 911 by now. Mommy help me, please, strange boy with hair is yelling Kinks song at me. She looks like she's going to have a coronary. Meanwhile, back on stage, Sanjaya is working every ounce of sex appeal he can muster out of his thinly voiced little body and makes love to the camera as only a baby Mick Jagger could. He growls, he struts and he somehow gets out a halfway decent version of the song. I was laughing so hard, I could barely breathe. I don't know what was funnier, "Little Crying Girl" whipping herself into a frenzy or Sanjaya working it at the camera. Somebody get me some smelling salts, re-cue the Tivo, I got to see that again!

Randy: "Dude you came out of your shell tonight." No kidding.
Paula: "That's what we've been waiting for." I'm not so sure about that.
Simon: "I think the little girl's face says it all." What does that mean? No one really knows because no one really asks. I think it means he hated it.

We're then introduced to "Little Crying Girl." Her name is Ashley. When Sanjaya goes over to say hello, she squeezes her eyes shut in terror...I mean, joy.

My rank: 7. (Yes, that's right, 7)

Gina's next. She does the female version of Mick Jagger and sings, "Paint It Black." Once again, props to the band...the drummer is great. Gina, is okay. She does the rock 'n roll thing. She does the screeching, the gyrating thing. Everything but the Mick Jagger lip thing and she's good. Not great, just good.

Randy: It was just all right for him. "Pitchy in spots."
Paula: "Miles better than last week."
Simon: "Gina there were moments of complete torture in that vocal to be honest with you." He thought it was mainly style over substance.

My rank: 5.

Chris S. sings "She's Not There," by the Zombies. He starts off in the audience which is creepy and he's wearing a gray jacket that looks like casual Friday wear. That and his attempt to rock out with the mic stand make for a strange performance and I can't help hearing the version from "Kill Bill." Chris's version however is a mess.

Randy: Unlike me, he thought it started rough but wound up good.
Paula: Also unlike me, she liked that he worked the audience and thought he was dressing nicer.
Simon: And really unlike me, he said, "I think you did your thing. I thought it was fun. Good choice of song for you."

My rank: 4.

Melinda rehearses, "As Long As He Needs Me," and I flashback to junior high school when we had to learn that song for chorus. I hated it then, I hate it now. It's from the musical "Oliver." All the more reason to hate it. But, since everything Melinda touches turns into musical gold, this was no exception. Powerful, emotional, authentic, you name it, she had it. A real winner. Even Ashley, formerly known as "Little Crying Girl" is sobbing again so it must be good. One visual note, I love Melinda's new bob haircut, but get that girl out of those gray colors. Put her in some red next week

Randy: Thought it was another stunning performance. "You are a pro up there."
Paula: "You are in your own league, my dear."
Simon: He thought it was "an impeccable vocal."

My rank: 9.

All in all, a really decent night of singing.

Predictions: