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March 28, 2007

Daisy Dog C.S.I.

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Daisy At The Scene Of The Crime

Last Sunday morning, as I was about to let Daisy out, I saw a squirrel loitering around my backyard maple tree.  As always, I rapped on the door to give him a head start. Daisy may be 13 years old but she's still capable of showing those nasty little squirrels a thing or two.  The squirrel decided to ignore me so I was like, okay...I warned you.  Prepare to die.

I opened the door and Daisy bolted out, barking like the Hound Of The Baskervilles, and the nasty little squirrel, when he saw he was in Daisy's cross hairs, ducked behind the tree.  Daisy got to within a fur ball of his tail when he scooted up the trunk, out of reach.  Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

While Daisy patrolled the yard, I set up my percolator for coffee and checked CNN to see if there was some disaster I should know about.  Nothing important, so I shut it off and waited for the percolator and Daisy to do their thing.   After about ten minutes I didn't hear anything from the yard and like with children, that's a bad sign.  I went to the back door and there was Daisy trampling through the destroyed limbs of last fall's ornamental cabbage, and the resulting pile of dirt from my back door planter.  Her sleek white snout was peppered with the the telltale signs of a potting soil breakfast.

"Hey,"  I shouted.  "Get out of there."  She just looked at me with her patented, "I'm innocent!" expression.  Then she whined, waiting for me to let her in.  This, I thought, was definitely blog-worthy material so the first thing I did was get the camera.  Once outside I CSI'd the damage and deduced that though her snout was filthy, her paws were not nearly filthy enough to conclude she was the perpetrator.  Maybe I had the wrong animal.  The only potential witness was the nasty little squirrel, and since he had an ax to Img_0310grind, he was lawyered up and not talking.

When I was sure she wouldn't track a planter's worth of dirt into my kitchen, I let Daisy in.  A forensic examination of her paws determined that she couldn't possibly have dug up so much dirt in so short a time without really filthy paws.

This post is my final report and it's been determined that Daisy in fact was not guilty of the ornamental cabbage destruction.  She merely took advantage of an irresistible opportunity to eat freshly turned dirt.  Yum.  The true culprits, more than likely were the nasty little squirrel and some of his friends.  Or worse, a raid by the raccoon tribe that lives in the neighborhood.

So this time Daisy was let off with a warning for the dirt eating and served ten minutes in a foot bath for trampling through the dirt.  Case closed.

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